i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
