I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
