READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
