So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
