What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
