You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
