Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
