I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
