My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
