the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
