is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
