I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
