dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
