just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
