hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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