woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
