I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
