At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
