Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
