Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
How's work?
Spinning.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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