Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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