He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
he's gonorrhea incarnate
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
A+ Viking dick
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