So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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