marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i think my mom watched the whole time
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
