New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
