He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
