I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
