I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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