So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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