yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
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