so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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