Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
