I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Randomize
