i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
