Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
