You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
