I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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