got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
