I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
