I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Found the puke drawer
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
