You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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