I hate all girls vehemently.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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