i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Randomize
