yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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