His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
