Rock
Scissors
Fuck
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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