I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
