Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
