whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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