Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
